The Adventures of a Free Lunch Junkie by Earl Bronsteen

Author:Earl Bronsteen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: memoir, wall street, annuities, retirement, senior citizen, laugh out loud, seminars, scams, cheap, retirement adventure, retirement home, retirement planning, humor and satire, retirement products, free lunch, free lunch seminar
Publisher: Earl Bronsteen

GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS

“Would you like to order salmon or filet mignon for your lunch this Thursday?” The pleasant voice on the telephone asked when she called to confirm my appointment for a seminar at a life care retirement community in the Palm Beach area. I had been hesitant about going to their seminar, because it was fifty-one minutes away—gas would cost about $14 for the round trip—but the magic words (filet mignon) sealed the deal for me. That’s the good news.

And then Tuesday afternoon the same congenial voice called to tell me that the seminar has been cancelled because of construction work being done on the grounds. I wished I had ordered salmon instead of filet mignon, so I wouldn’t be so disappointed. The caller said she’d telephone to reschedule. maybe she will, maybe she won’t. It’s no skin off my back.

The other bad news isn’t all that bad, considering that the life of a free lunch junkie is not always a bed of roasts. Before this lastminute cancellation I had called to make a reservation for a seminar that was to be held at the local Marriot the same evening as the retirement community filet lunch. I love doubleheaders. They really get my juices flowing. When I called, I was told that the seminar was sold out. If I had been wearing a pacemaker, I’m sure it would have kicked in. But not to worry. The voice on the phone said that there was a makeup seminar the very next day.

The meeting was to be held at Toojay’s Deli, and it was to be for lunch instead of dinner. Freeloaders can’t be choosers, so I signed up. I didn’t feel too badly because a group meal at the Marriot is a gamble at best and a pastrami sandwich at toojay’s is to die for (or to die from, depending on your cholesterol level.

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